What School Has Taught You?

Do you remember how teacher was marking your mistakes with a usually bright red pen? So you can't miss it even if wanted to...

More mistakes, lower the grade... and the fear of punishment by parents was real!

The worst about it is that then a certain behaviour was learned by you & even today, when you are going after some "dreams" of yours, you are doing it (not entirely consciously) to proof someone from your past, that you are not a loser... that THAT mistake didn't define you. But didn't it really?

Fear of mistakes is one of the signs of OCD. It often stops us from even thinking in the direction of our dreams. Or if we still dare to do so, it helps us to overcomplicate everything & blow problems out of proportion in no time! How common is it today? I'm sure you'll agree - very.

Whether that was school that helped you to acquire it or maybe a childish mischief that got you into a trouble, the result is the same - fear of mistakes, or shall I call it a fear of failure, so you see it better, lives in you & drives your decisions.

The sooner you face this fact, the sooner you will be able to do something about it.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MISTAKES

I'm sure you have heard that mistakes are our teachers. That without mistakes we can't learn, develop, grow.

It's all true, but still not many can actually accept & apply it.

See a mistake it's only a part of the way. There is nothing mysterious about it and for sure nothing special. But of course Your Mistake will destroy everything!

I can't tell you if that's an ego game or just a human error, but for some reason mistakes have been given one very important place in our lives for no reason. School grades system could be the cause, but now we need to understand:

WHAT'S NEXT?

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Before we go forward, I want to share with you this point of view:

Mistakes are no more no less, but a stage of development.

It's like a research that you do on your competitors, or on the market to understand it before you start your business. Because at first you don't know what's going to work & one way or another you need to collect data. Mistakes help you to do just that.

After a while you learn more, develop experience & your mistakes grow with you, and bring more so needed data to carry on. They are not more important than ideas or execution of them. No more important than people you are doing things with, or other researches, or even results that you are getting.

They are just a part of the whole way. Just as every other component - equally important and small at the same time.

But stopping there, at the beginning, where mistakes paralyse the most, not being able to proceed because of your fear, you create:

● Perfectionism,

● Paralysis and

● Scarcity in your life.

Scarcity of results, of opportunities, of ideas... of money, friends and other stuff. Because your mind shrinks to one overwhelming thought that your mistake is unacceptable!

But since it's just a part of the way, a part of your viechle that you need to drive it - you can't move forward.

So indeed, what's next?

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If you see this in you and simple shift of perspective doesn't help yet, I suggest you do the following exercise:

You can do it with any & every mistake that you have ever made, but the best results you will get if you find "The One".

1. I'm sure you have something on your mind. Something you did very long time ago & got punished, ashamed, laughed at...

What was it for you? Remember the situation in as great detail as you can.

2. Now, within the situation start shifting your perspective.

Start feeling how that mistake was such a needed step towards something important for you. There & then don't run away, acknowledge your emotions and let them be, but work on how you perceive what is going on.

You made a mistake...

- What data it helped you to collect?

- How can you use that data going forwards?

- What did it help you to understand if only you wouldn't feel sorry for yourself?

Stay within this little meditation until you feel how your thoughts have changed & shifted your emotions as a result. Until you feel light & no longer burdened by that so needed step on your way.

✓ Once you are done, remind your mind that going forwards this is the way you are choosing to perceive mistakes:

"They are just a part of my way. Just as important & small at the same time as everything else that I need to move forward."

And with a that lightness in you ask: What do I need to do today to achieve my aim as soon as possible? :)

Until the next time,

Renata Dar