Friendly or Hostile World?

The Pillar N1.

Albert Einstein: “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe."

WHY IT'S A STEP N1?

When I was a kid I had a dream. To see the Twin Towers myself! I remember how somebody who has seen them was telling me how it makes your head spin looking up - that's how tall they are! And that picture stuck in my mind... I wanted my head to spin from the height of the buildings.

Sometimes I was even spinning myself while looking up, pretending I was there, right in front of the Towers! Dreaming how one day I will travel across the world to experience this feeling!

11 September 2001 died and my dream as well... I was 11 years old & absolutely devastated. My whole world crushed.

Living in Latvia I of course didn't know anyone affected by the tragedy. I was only watching TV, local news... watching those people jumping outside the windows, the fire, the plains. How it all was collapsing & eventually the only thought that was left in my head was that the world I live in is a nasty place & whatever I want will always be taken away from me... So I have to be strong to be able to protect myself. Not let anyone in, so they don't make me weak. And also not want much, just so it doesn't get taken away...

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My life carried on. Teen-ages kicked in, then my twenties. I forgot to think about it all. Until in my early thirties I met people who introduced me to the work with subconscious.

With their help I looked back onto my life. School days, when I had almost no friends. Later life with little opportunities and constant struggles to make anything happen. My habit to quickly give up & drop things feeling disappointed with myself & not believing that I can do whatever I dream of. Because if I will, someone will take it, trash it like the towers...

But to be truly honest, the path I'm walking now I was thinking about since the age of 17!

I was studying in the girls school of aesthetic training alongside a model agency and seen how many of those girls completely lack self-confidence. Most of them were models, naturally gorgeous & I genuinely couldn't put two & two together. How is this even possible?!

But I remember how I thought that it would be so nice, when I grow up, to create similar school with a self-love & self-acceptance prism to it. So whoever studies in my school develops those skills first!

♡

It was just a thought, I got distracted...

Next time I remembered it I was already 25. Aspiring hairdresser, educating my clients on their hair and how to work with it, rather than fight it. That time around I have even developed the whole structure of the school. All lessons, duration, what teachers I would need to find, what could I teach myself. How to test and even graduation event! (Think I still have some of it saved it on an old USB stick hehe)

Then there was the next step - finding people, places, research amongst public if there is an interest in the first place. But guess what... I chickened out. Remember, world around me is not friendly... I was sure I will never find who I need, people will have no interest and where would I get investments ?! Forget it Renata...

Could I? Can you? Can you truly forget who you are & what you are about? The topic of Purpose is the part of the Sixth Pillar and we will have a lot of time and opportunities to discuss it. But for now, let me tell you, that no, you don't forget it. But you for sure can & do put a lot of obstacles on your own way...

I'm 35 today and guess what?!

No, it's not all doom and gloom, lol, but...

Reality, if you choose to face it, hits hard, but also provides space for choice:

Over the last 10 years I "tried" to start my business, get into self-development as a guide of some sort so many times that it feels a shame to say it out loud. My ideas fell flat before I even started, but I have gone thought tons of courses and educational programs - enough for a degree or two if you like...

I went through a turmoil & eventually I got to a point where I couldn't run away from myself anymore. I couldn't hide my true desires. I got tired from coming up with excuses why my ideas are not worthy of being manifested and how world won't accept them, how I will fail...

I believe that I got lucky & met just the right teachers on my way! So that the next 10 years don't have to be so painful anymore :)

Einstain's quote came just at the right time.

Analysing my progress I realised that even though I knew what I'm about since 17 ! only now in my thirties I'm actually doing something about it. He was so right & that's why this is a Pillar N1.

As a sign to prove it the world gave me very beautiful present.

Last autumn, while I was at the beginning f developing the Pillars, I visited Swiss Alps and looking up to one of the mountains I've experienced what I thought I will never do - the head spin from its height! Can't tell you if the size matched, but I thought of it as my own Twin Tower.

This is where the Journey begins. Pillar N1 - What world do you live in?

Until the next time,

Renata Dar